


where's the good in goodbye

by weddingbells



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, M/M, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 18:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4446605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weddingbells/pseuds/weddingbells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The funniest thing Nick has ever read is the article that Louis is going to be a father. He knows it's not true, because Louis is dating him and only him. It's really, quite frankly, the most ridiculous and funny thing Nick has ever, ever heard in his life. Until it isn't anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	where's the good in goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> So in the middle of the night I got an idea and then I just wrote, and this happened. I apologize for my mistakes because they are mine and only mine.

Nick reads the news on the way to work and he can’t stop laughing. The Sun really did it this time. Louis Tomlinson is going to be a father. He shakes his head and wonders if it can be any more ridiculous. He is almost tempted to talk to his driver, comment on how extremely ridiculous this is but he doesn't do that. Instead he just go on his normal routine, thanking the driver and then head into the studio to start the show this morning. He is still chuckling on the inside though.

 

It’s really ridiculous. He thinks to himself as he takes the stairs this morning. It’s ridiculous because he knows for a fact that Louis is in a very committed relationship and has been for almost 8 months now. He knows it’s ridiculous because Louis Tomlinson is right now sleeping in his bed, curled up there together with Pig even though she shouldn't be sleeping in the bed, but in her own dog bed.

But Louis wanted her there, and for 8 months now Nick has had a lot of trouble saying no to the pouting lips and puppy eyes. Especially when they team up on him, which they do as often as they can.

Nick finds it quite rude but also very adorable and he wouldn’t have it any other way, to be honest.

 

He grins to himself as he gets into the studio. Tina and Fifi are already there, talking about something that Nick interrupts because hey, he wants them to know that he is here now.

"Hello ladies!" He chippers and takes his seat. "Lovely morning today isn't it?"

Fiona looks up with a smile.

"Someone's awfully happy this morning." She comments and Nick laughs. He thinks about his bed at home, what waits for him when he comes back and he thinks about hilarious gossip.

"Yeah." He says with another big grin. "Just… just one of those days."

 

The show is flooded with texts and tweets about Louis and the baby rumours. A lot of people asking Nick for the truth because he should know the truth. And yes he does, but not for the reason they think. He laughs a little about how everyone says that he should know because he is close to Harry, being told everything from him.

A lot of the days Nick doesn’t like that his most serious relationship in forever, or maybe _ever_ if he's going to be honest, is kept a secret from the public eye and a lot of people around him, but today he finds it kind of amusing.

It’s so funny he even sends out a tweet about how lots of the tweets this morning is making him laugh and then they go on with the show.

 

He is still in the best mood as he sneaks off to the bathroom to text Louis that he is coming home soon, and then sits through a last meeting of the day before he can finally go back to his house.

 

When he comes back to his house Louis is still in bed, and Pig as well which makes Nick laugh.

"Did you guys not leave bed at all?" He greets them. It’s way past lunch time and he can’t believe they aren’t up yet.

"No." Louis mutters, face against the pillow and hand lazily petting Pig. "We are sleepy." They look so cozy Nick is tempted to join them there in bed, but he knows that if he does they are truly never getting out of bed and he do have some other plans for them then to just lay in bed all day. After all Louis is going back out on tour soon.

"Didn't you go for a walk Piggie girl?" Nick arches an eyebrow and Pig looks up at him with tired eyes. Louis is truly rubbing off on her in a bad way.

"She peed in your closet." Louis says with a little grin on his lips, cheek still pressed against the pillow as he is looking up at Nick. "Nice right?"

"Liar." Nick sticks his tongue out but he also checks his closet just to be sure because well, _you never know_. He can’t smell anything though so he sits at the edge of the bed instead, grinning.

"So, The Sun are hilarious."

Louis lifts his head from his pillow. He frowns.

"What now?"

Nick lets out a chuckle.

"Well..." He chuckles again. Like a kid telling a joke for the first time and can't quite hold it together because they are laughing too hard. "They have this idea... that you knocked some girl up. That you actually got someone pregnant! And that the reason you were in LA recently were to check up on her and scans and that kind of crazy talk." Nick laughs again. "They really don't have anything else to write right? Stupid."

He lets out another chuckle before he realizes that Louis is quiet.

It's never good when Louis is quiet. Usually Louis reacts right away, either with loud laughter or loud anger, or he just gets pissed but now Louis is quiet.

Louis is never quiet like this.

Nick blinks, looking at him as Louis sits up, eyes a bit glassy as he wraps the blankets around his body.

"Lou..." Nick whispers and Louis meets his eyes. His lips are trembling.

"Nick..."

Nick stands up. He takes a step back, hands shaking.

“Nick.” Louis says again, and his lips tremble even more now. “Nick… I… I should have told you, I really should have told you, I…”

"Is it... is it..."

"It was a mistake." Louis cries out, tears streaming down his face. Pig whimpers and jumps down from the bed, running out from the room as if she doesn’t want to be a part of this. Nick wishes he could follow her, he has a feeling he doesn’t really want to be a part of this either. He remains in the room though, just staring at Louis. "Nick I..."

Nick feels dizzy. He doesn't even know what to say.

"How..."

Louis sobs. He tries to reach for Nick and Nick backs away. He almost trips over a pile of clothes, Louis’ clothes that he shed last night before he jumped on top of Nick and kissed him and the memory almost makes Nick feel a little queasy now.

"Nick..." Louis whispers. "It was one time, I was... it was just one time."

"When?!" Nick asks and he can feel his voice going dark. Hostile. His heart is beating faster as the blood pulsates in his veins. He can’t believe this is happening, he can’t believe that anything of this was true and he feels so dumb, so very stupid.

Louis sobs.

"I was jealous." He whispers. "When Harry stayed with you while I was away and he got to attend your Topman launch and..."

"You _chose_ not to attend." Nick snaps. "You _chose_ that, Louis."

It had been a discussion, Nick doesn’t want to call it argument, but a discussion. Nick had of course invited Louis to join the launch, but Louis had decided it would be too much unnecessary press that none of them needed, and even if Nick had told him that he didn’t care, in the end Louis had still decided not to go.

"You just looked so happy with him." Louis sobs. "And I got drunk and she was there and we..." He keeps sobbing.

"Harry is my _friend_." Nick snaps again. "I don't fuck my friends. Unlike you, apparently."

His voice is cold, so cold he doesn’t even recognize it himself but he really doesn’t care that he is being vile right now. Not at all. Louis cries harder. Nick has never seen him cry like this before and he has never been this unaffected by tears before either.

"Nick I'm so-sorry..." He sobs. "Nick it was just..."

He tries to reach out for Nick again and Nick backs away.

"You cheated on me." He says and Louis falls back, whimpering.

"Nick... I’m sorry, I… Nick…"

"Fuck you." Nick says.

 

He isn’t sure if it's him who is supposed to storm out when it’s his house but he grabs Pig's collar and calls for her and they storm out anyway.

 

\--

 

Nick is trying his best to be his usual cheery self when he gets to The X Factor that evening. It's a meeting, thankfully, no auditions and he doesn't have to pretend in front of thousands that he is not in the mood for anything else but to down three bottles of tequila and cry into a pillow.

Louis has called him 20 times and sent about twice as many text messages. Liam called once and Harry has sent him two texts, but Nick didn't reply to any of the calls and he deleted all the messages without even looking at them. There is an unknown number calling him as well and he wonders if that would be Niall, but he doesn’t pick up that either. He is pretty sure it’s Louis trying to get in contact with him from different phones, and he doesn’t feel like falling for that now.

"Are you okay Nick?" Rita asks him after he starts the meeting with not saying much. Nick forces a smile.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"We gotta keep this short guys." Simon says from the end of the table. "I have interviews later, I am gonna have to speak up on the Tomlinson baby madness."

Cheryl looks up at that.

"So it's true then?"

It feels as if someone stabs Nick repeatedly with a rusty knife as Simon nods.

"Yeah. Got drunk, condom broke, I don't know I didn't ask for the details but there is a pregnant girl anyway. Louis needs to..."

"I got to go to the bathroom." Nick interrupts. He can almost feel how pale he must look but he hopes that no one else will notice it.

"Okay." Simon says, looking a bit surprised. "I thought you would want to hear this, something to talk about on the sh..."

"I really need to go to the bathroom." Nick interrupts again and he practically runs off, not looking back at them.

"What was up with him?" Simon asks behind him and the others shrug.

 

\--

 

Nick locks himself away for days. Louis doesn't come over but he keeps calling. Nick ignores him and then tries to ignore the media about the baby news which seems to be impossible. It’s everywhere, like no matter where Nick turns someone has something to say about it and people keep tweeting about it as if he would tell them anything about it.

He calls in sick from both the breakfast show and an X Factor interview and that's when Harry shows up on his doorstep.

Nick stares at him. Harry is wearing sunglasses and an aviator jacket, he looks a bit exhausted and Nick steps to the side. He wants to comment on that he shouldn’t wear sunglasses when it’s raining, but he doesn’t feel like that’s a comment he wants to say right now.

"Thought you were on tour." Nick comments instead and Harry pushes his sunglasses up on his head. His eyes look baggy as if he hasn't slept for days. Harry shakes his head.

"Not today. Today I'm here. Louis... Louis told me."

Nick lets out a little sound that he doesn't even know what it's supposed to mean and walks back into the house.

Harry follows him. Pig comes to greet him and Harry sits down on the floor, letting Pig lick all over his face while he looks up at Nick.

"Why didn't you answer my calls?" Harry asks. "Or my texts? I was worried, I..."

"I'm okay." Nick lies, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "My boyfriend just fucked someone else. Everything is amazing Hazza."

Harry looks ready to cry and Nick feels like just asking him to leave again. He doesn't though.

"Nick... I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." Nick says because really, it's not. Harry chews on his lower lip.

"But if I hadn't come to see you at your fashion launch he..."

"Don't." Nick interrupts. "Don't put the blame on yourself. This is not your fault. You didn't tell Louis to stick his dick in someone else. He did that all by himself." Nick needs to sit down. He feels dizzy and sick. "He didn't trust me, he cheated and now he got someone pregnant."

He hides his face in his hands. He can’t believe this. He really can't.

"He's... he won’t talk about it to the media." Harry says and he looks sad. "And he is paying journalists to keep away from his family as well. He doesn't want anyone to talk about this Nick. He hates that it happened, he..."

"Wow." Nick says coldly. "That makes me feel so much better about everything."

Harry looks ready to cry again. Nick wonders why everyone is crying but him. He hasn't been able to cry even if he wanted to. He has just been feeling numb.

"Nick, I wish you could..."

"What?" Nick snaps. Harry flinches. Nick doesn’t care. "What exactly is it that you want me to do Harry? Huh? Forgive him? He slept with someone else. He cheated on me."

"I know." Harry sobs. "I know he was a fucking idiot Nick, I know that. I just wish that you could talk. I..."

"I will talk to him." Nick says and Harry looks up. He looks relieved.

"You will?"

"Yeah." Nick nods to a bag standing by the door. "I gotta give all his stuff back."

He can tell from the way Harry looks that it wasn't the kind of answer he had been hoping for, but Nick really, really doesn’t care.

 

\--

 

One Direction comes back to the UK for their tour ending and Nick doesn't even bother to try to call first or see if Louis is home. He just drives over there, grabbing the bag and knocking on the door.

 

He almost thinks there will be no answer but then the door opens and there Louis is.

 

He looks horrible. Eyes red and he looks thinner and tired, tired in a way someone is who has been holding it together for a long time and now finally can let it all go. Nick knows, because he is feeling the exact same way himself. Part of Nick wants to wrap his arms around Louis and hold him, tell him that it's going to be okay.

 

But he can't do that.

 

"Nick." Louis whispers as if he can't really believe that Nick is there. Nick nods.

"Can I come in?"

Louis lets him in so quickly, it's like he worries that if he takes too long Nick might leave again.

"Do you want... tea or coffee..." Louis starts but Nick shakes his head.

"No. I'm not staying."

Louis nods, biting on his lower lip.

"Okay..."

"I just figured we needed to talk." Nick says and fiddles with the hem of his shirt. He feels awkward in Louis' presence. Tall and awkward and out of place which is just the worst feeling. He has felt many things with Louis but never out of place. Always loved, like home, like he belongs there.

 

He doesn't feel like he belongs there now.

 

"Yeah." Louis nods. "You... uhm... you never returned my calls..."

Nick shakes his head.

"I didn't feel like talking."

Louis nods. He takes a step closer as if he wants to reach for Nick but changes his mind. He takes a step back instead.

"Nick..."

"I just can't believe you did that." Nick whispers. Anger is suddenly filling him up in ways it hasn't before. He takes a deep breath, voice louder now. "I can't believe you would cheat on me. Louis we have been together..."

"I know." Louis sobs. "I know. I'm scum I am complete and utter scum I..."

For some reason hearing him say that obly makes Nick angrier.

"You know what the worst thing is?" Nick yells and he feels like laughing about the whole situation. "It's not even that you got drunk and had sex with someone else. God, it probably should be the worst thing but it's not."

Louis whimpers a little. Nick keeps going, hoping his voice will stay steady.

"The worst thing... the worst thing is that you didn't trust me." He is starting to cry now. He can feel tears streaming down his cheeks and Louis starts crying too.

"Nick..."

"I was hanging out with my best friend. My best friend who supported me launching my collection that you didn't want to be at. I asked you Louis, and you didn't want to come and I understood." Nick wipes his eyes. "But you, you seem to think I am some kind of dick who would invite Harry to get him into bed with me. You don't trust that I love you and only you. I don’t want anyone else." Nick pauses, taking a deep breath. "You're the one who did that. And then fun thing is..." He let out a cold laugh again. "I trusted you. I trusted you fully, completely because I'm the dumb idiot who thought you felt the same for me that I did for you." He shakes his head and Louis is crying hard now.

"Nick." He sobs and he is shaking, his whole body is shaking. "Nick please..."

"That hurts the most." Nick whispers. "It hurts that you didn't trust me, Louis."

He puts the bag down on the floor. Nodding to it while Louis is still sobbing in front of him. "I brought your stuff over." Nick says quietly. He is pretty sure he can hear his own heart breaking as he says the words. "Don't worry, I won't go to the press." He turns his back to him and can't help but add. "Enjoy fatherhood."

"Nick, please." Louis sobs harder. "Nick please I love you, please don't leave me."

 

Nick walks out the door.

 

He thinks he hear Louis falling to the floor but he can’t be sure.

 

He doesn't look back.

 

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY also babygotstyles @ twitter and tumblr


End file.
